When envy gets out of hand…

When envy gets out of hand…

Humans are strange. God would have provided everything to them in order to survive and thrive, yet they always end up envying what others have. Especially in the era of social media, where millions of edited, filtered, organized, happy pictures are posted every day. Envy is one of the biggest cause of unhappiness and greed.

My encounters with envy

I want to tell you a story. It’s 2021. Month of October-November. The time when 80 percent of the Indian population goes to Goa. Wherever I see, I see Goan beaches and Feni. The word Goa didn’t even cross my mind until I saw the Instagram stories. Suddenly, thoughts rushed into my head. Good thoughts? Nah. “Oh, lord! I have such a boring life.” “I can’t wait to go to Goa.” It was all not bad until it escalated to “Why can’t I be happy like others?” My only source of happiness shifted to being in Goa.

I don’t hate the place. I definitely want to travel to Goa one day, but at my pace. And I knew it was all FOMO and envy since I never thought about that place until I saw all the colorful stories.

I also hated the way I look and wondered why I didn’t look like others. “Why is my face so weird?” I thought. “How are others blessed with beauty?” “Why does God hate me?” There were a series of self doubt, breakdowns and curses. I did not even like coming in front of the camera. It took me a lot of self- consolation and seven years to finally make peace with the fact that we all are different. 

Let’s shift our focus from travel to passion. I won’t say I am a great writer, but I write on this blog and on my Instagram. I sometimes feel that whatever I write is too cringy or too childish. Gradually, other people’s hobbies and craft started looking superior and preferable. I wished I had learnt to dance or singing or any sport or any “actual” craft since I thought that my writing was too bad to be in the public eye. (I have been learning new skills lately, but I have put a halt on looking down on my first skill i.e., writing and instead be proud of whatever I do.)

These are just past phases, and I have grown a lot since past years. I believe it is important to be candid when I write something so that you all can relate. So, coming back to my mentioned phases, do you think I was happy?

It was the worst. I couldn’t focus on anything. I became too lazy to sit straight and you would find me laying on the bed scrolling through Instagram. My mind was trained to focus on what I didn’t have, rather than the thousand blessings in my life.

Why is envy a waste of time?

Envy sounds like a simple, harmless word and we often use it in our day-to-day conversations. But, it is more than enough to mess our head. It shifts our focus towards what others have rather than being grateful and developing what we have. I agree we are not blessed with the same privileges and material wealth as others. We are not economically equal to someone else. We may not look “beautiful” to people as much as others do (societal beauty standards are toxic and shouldn’t exist in the first place). But does that mean that our life is any less than the rest of the population?

We are all born in different conditions. Some of us are born to middle-class, some to rich families and we know people who come from economically backward homes. Some have access to facilities that most people don’t. What looks like a difficult task to you may just be a cakewalk for me. And maybe you have access to something which may be a tough assignment for me. What I want to say is, we all come from different walks of life. So, putting each other’s lives on a balance to measure whose life is better sounds absurd.

Talking about appearance, how many times did we all wish that we changed some or the other part of our body? Raise your hands. I did. We constantly look at ourselves in the mirror and go on an adventure to find a part of our body that we would like to change. Some of us might have even faced a lot of body shaming and unsolicited comments on our appearance. But that reflects the mindset of the shamer and not your body. As I have said before, society’s beauty standards are toxic and shouldn’t exist. I mean come on. Imagine how funny this world would have been if we all looked the same. I have an entire article for body shaming which you can read here.

Conclusion

I know we all are humans and not machines. We are free to have emotions. But imagine the feeling of wanting what others have, killing our happiness and living on auto-pilot without gratitude due to envy. In the end, when we are on our deathbed, we will only remember the things that we had and what we have achieved. I don’t think some random person’s possession will ever come to our mind during our final days.